Oh tiny Aubrey. You're such a sweet, innocent girl right now. Next year is going to be hard. A few weeks after you turn 12, you'll get really sad. You'll stop talking to everyone. You'll lose your will to do anything, to be anything, to exist. Aubrey, this is called Major Depressive Disorder, or depression. It's an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. It makes it hard to be happy. Aubrey, it's okay. It's okay that you aren't happy. It's okay. I know you don't want to, but you need to tell someone and you need to get help. I know you think you can do this by yourself, but you can't. Not this one. It's okay to get help. It's okay to need help. There are people out there who WANT to help you.
With depression comes feelings of worthlessness. You'll feel like you're a waste of space, that no one wants you around, and that you're too broken to fix. Oh my darling little girl, you are worth so much. You will help so many people in the years to come. You are so loved. You are the universe to so many people. You're a hero, Aub, and even when you feel like death is the only way out, you are still wanted. I know it's hard to feel like people love you, especially since they don't show it, but I KNOW they do. You are worth it. You aren't a mistake. You're not a waste of space. You're a piece--a CRUCIAL piece--of the puzzle that is the universe. Without you there is simply an empty void. Someone always loves and needs you.
Aubrey, this life was given to you for a reason. You are here to find happiness. You are here to be a light to others AND (most importantly) yourself. In order to be that light, you MUST learn to take care of yourself. Yes, I know your friends are having a hard time, but you can't fill them with love if you are empty.
My darling, you are important. You have a purpose. You are a blessing. You are worth the world. You deserve happiness. Be brave. Be strong. Be humble enough to get help when you need it. And Aubrey? It'll be okay. It'll be okay, I promise.
With love,
your 18 year old self
