I'm going to freak out for a minute here. While talking to my friend Melanie, I made the horrible mistake of thinking too much, and I realized something.
I'm not me. I'm not my own person.
I remembered the fact that people adopt their friends' personalities and quirks. And I realized that I am not fully myself. I'm a weird mix of everyone around me.
I started thinking: how much of me is uniquely me? How much of me was there originally and how much of me is just different influences? How much of my appearance is what I actually like and how much is what media and society tells me I look good in, through speech or example?
I am essentially the mind child of society.
Not even my voice is my own. I've literally been morphing it for years into what people find appealing and easy to listen to.
Am I the only one who thinks this is a little strange?
That's uh... yikes
ReplyDeleteHah! Love this. I have a journal entry from High School that says almost this exact thing. I became very conscious for a while of how I walked. and gestured. and talked. I started noticing how different I was acting when I was around one certain person and it creeped me out. I didn't like how I was with her. Good friends really are so important because they will influence you in so many ways. And really, it's ok that different people bring out different sides of us. I am so glad I found Richard for so many of these reasons. I also wonder how characters in books influence me... Awareness is good- overthinking it not so good :) We choose who and what we spend time with. And in choosing to be influenced by those things and people, we are choosing who we are. See, society doesn't control you! Power is yours!
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